I know it’s been forever since I’ve blogged and this post isn’t going to be terribly exciting but I need a little encouragement. I just need to vent a little and get some things off my chest.
My sister has lived in the neighborhood across from mine for the last 8 years or so. It has been wonderful. Three of our children are within 3 months of each other in age. We have spent a lot of time together and were always there for each other when help or emotional support was needed. We became best friends, even though we are 5 years apart in age. It has been a wonderful 8 years.
Yesterday she moved to Utah. Six hours away! My heart is broken and I find myself unable to function. I am so sad. See, the thing is, I have other friends. But not a best friend. Not a sister-friend. There is nothing like it. She was my person. She was the person who “sees” me, if that makes any sense. She was the one who noticed when I wasn’t fine even when I said I was. She was the one who brought me a treat just because she loves me. She was the one I could call at the last minute to watch my kids. She was the one who had my kids over all day so I could rest when I was sick. She was the one who included me. She was the one who sat with me at church. She understands me like no one else does. She knows my heart. And now she is gone. And as soon as she left I felt lonelier already knowing she wasn’t in the next neighborhood.
My heart is broken. I know life will go on and it will all be ok but right now I feel like I can’t go on. And I feel overwhelmed by everything else in my life. I have a lot to do in the next week before we leave on vacation. When we get back, school will be starting and I am not ready. I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now and no fork to start eating with. Or maybe I just can’t figure out what to eat first. Or maybe I just don’t have enough energy to get the food from the plate to my mouth. I am tired. I am worn out. I am sad.
Thanks for letting me vent about this. I just needed to lay it out there. I can’t talk about it to anyone in person because even just typing it tears were streaming down my face. I would not be able to get the words out. So, thanks for letting me share.
Sometimes it is nice to be able to get the feelings out in the open, it helps a little...not a lot, but at least it is out there. I have four sisters and we are all close, super close but most have left me to go to
ReplyDeleteUtah as well. It is sad and I want to be there too, but can't. Anyways, I understand. Hope you feel better, I just stumbled on this blog this week and LOVE it!
oh Emily, my heart is breaking for you! I don't have any real words of wisdom, but just try to replace all those things you used to do with her with sentences about all the new ways your relationship can grow! Now she will be the sister that you can have late night gab fests on the phone with. She will be the one who sends you a just because card and somehow it gets there on just the perfect day. One day you'll wake up and it will seem like everything's going wrong and the world is against you and you'll open your door and there will sit a care package from her. I do understand none of this is the same, but sometimes just because it's different doesn't mean it's all bad! Big hugs to you and know how lucky you are that you had that many years of living so close together! That's a pretty magical thing right there! And get those kids started on being pen pals!
ReplyDeleteI have no words. . . just lots of cyber ((((((((hugs)))))))) being sent your way. I hope you feel better soon. Just keep breathing. . .
ReplyDeleteIt's really sad to leave or be left by someone you love. My soul friend and I have lived in different states now for 3 years. I cried the entire 5 hour drive to our new home.
ReplyDeleteIt does get easier. Not right away. I still have a hard time because I don't have someone to hang out with who understands me the same way. And even reading your story makes me miss her and sad. But that is what things like Skype and the post office were invented for. I hope you have a good weekend and are able to stay busy...oh and THANK YOU so much for the printable cupcake toppers! My son's baptism is going to be sooo cute with them!
Praying for you and your sister.
ReplyDeleteAh I'm almost crying!! I have a best -sister friend too! She's 3 years older than me and yep..there's just no one like your best-sister friend! And there's a possiblity she'll be moving 2 hours away verses 15 minutes right now! So I'm sorry, I know it stinks! At least we have phones and facebook right? ( I know it's not the same!) It'll get better...one day at a time!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry!i read your blog when i get a chance, and even though we don't know each other, it breaks my heart! I moved last year and i moved father away from my best bud, and it was hard. Know that you are loved!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry : (
ReplyDeletemy sister is close too so I would feel the same as you. So sorry!
I'm sorry, Emily!! That really stinks for you. There's nothing like a sister, especially when you're surrounded by males! Email and talk on the phone to her a lot. It will take time, but you'll be OK.
ReplyDeleteyes, been there also!1 it will get better, how is your sis handling it? try to handle it the way she would!! or would want u to,,, if this was some one else what would u advise them? i live far away from my grandkids, and it hurts alot, i just do what i can, when i can, and pray it gets better soon!! for both of us!!! cin yes, get those kids writing each other, it will help!
ReplyDeleteHugs go out to you, but please remember, she is there if you really need her. I lost both my only living brother and my only sister a few years back, who I was very close too. I would give anything if I could pick up my phone and call them just to say hi, how ya doing, one more time. Even though she doesn't live across the street, you are still there for each other when it really counts. Hope I don't sound stern, but sometimes we forget how lucky we really are. By the way, love your blog.
ReplyDeleteI live 8 1/2 hours away from my sister...but we have coffee together over the phone most every morning!!
ReplyDeleteWe have cell phone plans that allow have unlimited "friends and family" calls along with cameras that we can send pictures to each other while we are shopping and/or text something comical to share.
Go get your phones set up and you will have each other in your "hip" pockets...and please feel better : )
I'm a new follower of your site, but my heart aches with empathy! I too had to move far away from family over two years ago. One sister is 10 hours West and the other 10 hours East. It does get easier and the times together get even better. In time, one of your friends or a few of them or even a new one, you have yet to meet, will now have the opportunity to become a best friend (almost) as good as your sister. I'm so thankful that family can never just "drift away" unlike other friends, they are stuck with you for life!
ReplyDeleteHugs! I totally know how you feel my sister and I are 5 years apart and in the past 9 years have become best friends. 4 years ago I moved from San Diego CA to WA. It is a 24 hour drive with the kids and a 3 hour flight. We cry every time we leave each other. We talk every day and the kids skype every chance they get. It does get easier but you are right it is never the same as having your sister right there for you.
ReplyDeleteAwww, that really does stink! :( I wish my sister and I were that close. You are very lucky! I hope you get to feeling better soon...eat lots of chocolate. :) Hang in there, Emily! ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI cried just reading this. I have 2 sisters and don't enjoy the special relationship that you and your sister have, but this post motivates me to try harder and appreciate what I have in my one sister who lives the next town over. My other sis lives as far from me in the US as you can get, but it is still possible to stay close if we only try harder. Thanks for sharing your heart. Sisters know a bond noone else understands.
ReplyDelete